Memories

Picking piece by piece,

Struggling hard to put the words together,

Struggling hard to hold the tears back.

Your letters. Our letters.

Tore them into pieces,

Promising to never think of you again.

And here I am putting them back,

Smiling and crying at all the love we shared.

The fights seem so silly now.

The love so true.

You promised me you’ll never let me go,

Then how did I lose u?

Where do I begin and where do I end

Seems like we lived a lifetime in those few days.

We started as friends, then u stole my heart,

And then we began our chase.

I was all yours from day one,

But I didn’t let you know.

We had our fights and our fun,

You took me high and took me low.

We had to fight and make up once a day,

You would call me an idiot and I would call you names.

I would cry all day and think I’ll make you pay,

But then, you’d say, “Hey, Are u ok?”

And, that was enough to melt my heart,

Drag me all the way back to the start.

We don’t know how and when it began,

But, we were in love and had lost our hearts.

You told me I was beautiful,

And had no reason to be insecure.

I asked you to open up and trust me,

And we promised we will be true.

I wrote you love songs,

We loved and laughed our days away.

You wondered why I loved you so,

I told you, you were the best, my life, and you made me sway.

My heart would skip a beat when you entered the room,

One smile from you and I would be ready to swoon.

I would wait for the crowd to leave,

So, we could have a few moments with each other.

To hold hands and talk,

We knew we couldn’t live without one another.

You were there for me when I needed you.

Said the right things, helped me through.

Held me tight, told me the days would get better.

We had each other, and that’s what mattered.

But, then one day, life came in the way.

We couldn’t make up after our fights,

You called me names that scarred me,

And I couldn’t see the light.

We left so much unsaid.

The songs I sang for you broke my heart.

My heart skipped a beat with the thought of seeing you,

But not because of yearning, but because I wanted to part.

I went through hell and back.

When I heard you telling people about us.

You shared our stories, our moments,

And I still thought you were the one I could trust.

I force myself to listen to our songs,

Sometimes I smile, sometimes I breakdown and cry.

I know it’s going to take me long,

But, god knows I am going to try.

I fought for our love,

As long as I could do.

But, our love is like a shipwreck with nothing to salvage,

And all I am left with, are memories of u.

 We don’t speak anymore,

The days I see you are few.

I don’t want to know the man u have become,

But I will always love the boy I knew.

Mourn

Smiles. Laughter.

Stolen kisses.

Love songs.

Missing you.

Missing us.

The world at our feet.

And Then.

And then.

You broke me apart.

Ripped out my heart.

Told me, I wasn't worth it, from the start.

I believed you.

Like I always did.

You were my life, my faith.

So, this must be the truth.

I died a thousand deaths.

Thinking of you with every breath.

You are stupid, selfish and ugly.

Unlovable.

Unbearable.

Go away. Disappear.

Isn't that what you said to me?

I begged you, cried.

No! I love you.

Can’t you see?

I will be what you want me to be.

Stop talking? I will.

Become invisible? I will.

Just please don’t leave me.

But, you ignored me.

Made me feel like I didn't exist.

Broke my self confidence, my self respect.

Made me loath myself.

Hate. Hate. Hate.

Hate myself for losing you.

Hate myself for loving you.

Hate myself for hating.

I am not this person.

This is not me.

I was full of joy and life

And everyone loved me.

So it’s not me!

It’s you.

May be it’s not u.

It can’t be. 
Because, I love u.

See? See what you have done to me?

See, what you have made me become?

No! I am not letting this happen.

No! I never give up.

I didn't give up on u.
But, I am letting you go now.

I am not giving up on me. 
I am not giving up on love.

But, I know.

I know that I am smart, beautiful and lovely.

I know how to give. I am generous.

I know how to love. And I ll love.

Love. Love.Love.

Its time to be me.

Me again.

Time to get up, get stronger.

I don’t want you anymore.

Time to love and respect myself again.

Time to let the world see the beautiful me.

Time to let the people in, who love and appreciate me.

Because, I know that I am lovable and I deserve joy.

I learnt this, and you should believe it too my friends.

And this is why....

Love is not about convenience,

Love is not about what’s wrong and what’s right,

Love is not about what the world wants,

Love is not justified.

So, mourn.

Mourn, lament and cry.

Let your heart shatter into a million pieces

Don’t try and be stronger, not yet. Please don’t try.

You are strong and beautiful,

Inside and out.

You have your whole life to stand and fight,

Now is the moment to let go.

Let go. Let it out.

Scream if you want. Cry. Shout.

Feel the pain. Feel the loss.

Just feel. Feel all of it.

Feel. But, don’t let the light die.

Nurture it. Treasure it.

Let it shine.

Shine bright.

Because, you are you.

You are the best.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

This too shall pass,

And you will rise, stronger, better, wiser.

So, mourn my friend.

Mourn.